Sam's Throne
I decided to take a semester off from school so that I could get my act together. Ok, so that's probably not the
real reason, I took a semester off so I could get some more climbing in without worrying about missing class. But here it is March and I'm
finally getting to go on my first climbing trip. Yes, I have been to the local crags, but they are mainly for bouldering, and I did the
gym thing a few times when the weather would say otherwise, but I was really pumped about getting to go to Sam's Throne with Ben in
Arkansas.
You see, in Oklahoma, we don't have much to climb. That is why there are books written on buildering Oklahoma (the
art of climbing buildings) because well, even though most buildings are made horizontal, and that's how they appear to everybody else,
climbers more often than not, look up at the buildings as a vertical challenge, and immediately figure out if they can scale it or not.
Regardless, I'm pumped about the trip.
I think what really happened was between the time I bought my new blowtorch, oh I mean my MSR Dragonfly stove, and
now, I have gotten a little too much white gas in my brain and it has caused me to try and find the ultimate climbing meals. So I know
this isn't close, but it's a start, and that's why I'm documenting it so that when I do find enlightenment I can look back at how much all
this weighs and laugh. With the simmering function on the Dragonfly (which, btw, if you have it turned all the way down so it's barely on,
it's the only way you DON'T need earplugs) I figure we can try and cook some interesting meals instead of eating the normal stuff.
Ben and I went shopping at the local Wal-mart and well, this is what we got there, but YMMV.
2 packages of Soft bagels (6 blueberry, 6 multi-grain)
4 packages of Maruchan Ramen (2 chicken, 2 chicken and mushroom)
3 packages of Kangaroo Pita bread (5 pita's per package)
1 package of Great Value HotDog buns (8 buns)
1 package of Malt-O-Meal Toasty O's (12oz)
2 packages of Mariani Tropical Medley (6oz size)
1 package of Bar Hot dogs (8 dogs)
1 box of Wild Berry Keloggs Pop Tarts (8 in box)
2 boxes of Kraft Velveeta Shells and Cheese w/ bacon flavoring (9.4oz)
1 package of Farley's Choc-o Buttons (16oz)
1 jar of Great Value Dry Roasted Peanuts (16oz)
1 jar of Great Value Cruchy Peanut Butter (18oz)
2 jars of Bama Jelly (1 grape, 1 strawberry 10oz)
4 cans of Chicken of the Sea Tuna in canola oil (6oz)
2 cans of Port Clyde Sardines in Louisiana Hot Sauce (3.75oz)
1 can of Hormel Lean Ham (10oz)
1 can of Great Value White Chicken in broth (10oz)
1 box of Zatarain's Jambalaya Mix (8oz)
1 box of Great Value Instant Oatmeal Fruit Variety pack (8 pack)
1 can of Sweet Sue Chicken & Dumplings (48oz)
1 can of Orange Gatorade Mix (18.4oz)
Alright, those were the ingredients and it came to a total less than $50 and so basically you take into account we
are going to be gone for five full days, four nights and divided by only two people that's $5's per day, per person. Not bad for first
time shopping. I want to get it down to $1 a day though. Just cause that would be awesome and I could be on tv and people would see my
starving face and Suzanne Summers would come on screen and let you know for a dollar a day you can sponsor me and feed me. *smile*
Our menu at this point looks a little like this. Saturday we are eating the hotdogs cause well that's the only
thing that requires to be cold. Although the weather is supposed to be in the 40's all week, I don't think we will have too much of a
problem of the food being warm. If we were backpacking we might eat the giant can of chicken and dumplings because of the 48oz's that it
is, I definitely would want it out of my pack. Hell, tents are that heavy. All of our breakfasts consist of the Oatmeal, Bagel and
Pop-tart choices. If we are lazy and don't want to boil water then we won't have Oatmeal that day. (more likely the scenario, we are too
tired from the previous day of climbing or are ready to hit the crags again) Lunches consist of PBJ sandwiches on Pita bread and Tuna and
Ramen, and one day when we want people to leave the route we are on, the Sardines. Dinners will be the Chicken and Dumpling Stew and Pita
bread on Sunday, Monday will be Velveta Shells with the all purpose Pita Bread and Tuesday it's the Jambalaya. For snacks we will mix the
dried fruits, buttons (cheap m&m's), Toasty-O's and peanuts for some GORP. The gatorade will provide us with enough taste so that water
won't get old for liquid refreshment and well IMHO, we are all set, well except for planning on how to find the damn place.
Ben and I broke out our maps and tried to find the quickest way from where we are now, to where we wanna be in a few
days. We found the route and estimated with the poor ass choices for roads it will be somewhere in the five hour range for driving time.
Not too shabby.
We hit the road at about 9 am, and my sister had her 18th birthday party the night before, so there were doughnuts
for us to munch on and we were out the door. The drive down there was uneventful, so we tried to keep ourselves entertained by taking
Ben's four-banger up to 85mph and filming girls as we passed by them.
Upon arrival moisture started filling the air, and well, most people call this rain but we refused to acknowledge it
as anything and well, we set up camp in the pouring rain and started a fire with what every boy scout uses -- road flares. :)
After smoking the wood for what seemed like hours, the fire started and we roasted weiners...no not ours, well they
were ours, but like, oh ok, that's starting to head to the gutter, so lemme just say we ate some hot dogs.
In the morning the temperature was hella cold and everything was wet. We would have gotten an earlier start in the
morning had we not had to do two things. One, dry out our crap. Two, pack up camp. One of our friends had all his climbing gear stolen
from him in Arkansas, and so we didn't want to take any chances. After driving for what seemed like forever, we found the pullout for all
the climbs...and we hiked down Dead Dog Walkdown (nice name eh?) and found where we were and headed towards Sam's Throne. Upon arrival we
saw two people doing Poisen Ivy. It was a 5.8+ and we did that second. First we did, Sonya, Tonya, What's the Difference? That was rated
a 5.7. After both of those we went and did Diagnal Crack. Another 5.7. That night we had the Jambalaya and it was really good, I needed
to bring a paper clip and matches for my stove, so remind me I need to add that to my list of things to pack.
The following day was a little bit better for waking up. At least it wasn't wet. So we got an earlier start on the day. We led of the day with me taking lead on Poo Corner, a 5.6, which was pretty easy but enough for me to figure out how hard leading
is. Ben then led Where's Tom, and it was a hard 5.7 due to the water running down the crack and the near impossible crux of leaping for
the chickenhead at the start of the climb. We ate lunch up top, and then ended up doing Last Chance 5.7 to end the day. Ben of course led
it. Took some pictures of the sunset then we went and had a horrible dinner of Chicken and Dumplings. It didn't turn out good at all.
And my pots and pans are STILL dirty from that meal and it smelled really bad.
We woke up the next morning thinking that we were going to just light up the place with climbs. However this was
not true. We ended up doing 2 or 3, but mainly bouldering. I just remember the pita bread being really really dry by this point in the
trip.
The next day we did some climbs and headed home. Nothing too exciting. The highlight of our day had to be when we
ran into this guy who thought we were somebody we weren't and he was talking to us obscenly and well he later apologized and ran into the
woods. We stopped at a Western Sizzlin where they basically move half the entire town through in a night. You go through this hog feed
type line and get the buffet, it's really funny.
Overall the trip was a lot of fun but I got really tired and wanted to resort to bouldering because I didn't like
all the work associated with lead climbing. I guess I would rather just have my chalkbag and shoes. E me if you want more Beta. I can
review my video tape.
--Matt
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