Proposal Story

If I had known how involved the process of getting engaged was beforehand, I probably would have never gotten started. Well, ok, that’s probably not true, but it makes for a decent opening line and I think I muttered something similar to that after running my first marathon. Nevertheless, there is a lot of truth to that statement. Now, I know those of you that aren’t engaged or married are saying, “Oh come on, how hard can it be? You just buy a diamond ring, take her out to dinner, get down on one knee and ask her to marry you.”

Alright, first of all young, naive, star-crossed Romeo, a diamond ring just doesn’t fall out of the sky, let alone one that has the perfect diamond with the right-sized setting and an awesome shank. Typically, unless it is handed down to you, you will have to do what I call my own version of “diamond slave labor”, and work your butt off saving up for it. That’s easier said than done. Think about all the things you can buy with that first $100 you save. Then, when you reach $500 of saved money for her ring, pretty much anything you see in a mall or retail store can instantly be yours. That’s power. But no, ohhh no, don’t even think about it. You gotta keep digging your mine, buddy, and keep saving your money. Eventually, you hit the $1,000 mark, and the idea of getting really far ahead on car payments or paying off some of your own bills start to creep into your mind. And then, if you keep at it, and not buy that new Gore-tex jacket you always wanted, then you get up to $2 g’s. That’s right. You can start talking like a gangsta now as you’re starting to acquire some serious bling-bling money.

So, then, thinking you are ‘all that’, you walk into a diamond store in a mall, (which is a typical newbie mistake), with a fat wallet thinking how sweet a ring your going to get your honey. Eying the store, you waltz in acting all flashy saying you want a ring for your girlfriend, so they respond to you by asking, “What kind?”. When you really think about it, it’s a simple question. Truth be told though, inside you weren’t prepared for that kind of interrogation and now you’re standing there trying not to wet your pants because you just caught the first glimpse that you might be in over your head. However, you’re Romeo, so you raise your eye-brows a little but the reality is that you just realized that you don’t have a clue in Japan what diamond to get her. So, you attempt to make it seem like THEY are the uninformed party and respond, “What do you mean what kind? I want a diamond for my sweetie. You know, the normal kind.”

If the salesperson doesn’t stare at you blankly waiting to see if you’re smarter than a dog wagging it’s tail then they will overpower you with their lingo (which is easy to do at this point in the whole process, because you don’t know any better), your star-crossed eyes finally get so reversed with the Cut, Color, Clarity, carat, Cost, and Certifications and five hundred other words that begin with C as part of a conspiracy to confuse you, that you can now see straight and that it really was a complicated thing buying a ring, and those cubic zirconia things on sale at Wal-Mart look like a good deal and that this Matt guy really did know what he was saying when he said it was pretty involved.

So…now that I have your attention and you’re ready to listen, here’s my story.

Stage One – Test the Waters

If you’re a good boyfriend, you won’t let her know that you’re in the market for a ring. However, going to a jewelry store and learning about diamond earrings or diamond necklaces is a good start. And it’s something you can use towards the elusive engagement ring that is in the back of your mind but down the road a little ways. So that’s what I did. I just walked into Helzberg Diamonds and started asking questions. I realized that I didn’t know very much about diamonds, but they didn’t either. Eventually though I settled on a nice-looking diamond necklace with a cross in the center since we both attend church together and surprised her with that for her birthday. Here is what the necklace looked like.

The funny thing about the necklace though is that when I first handed Colleen the flat box, she thought it was chocolates. Eventually though, she turned it over and saw that it said Helzberg Diamonds on it and she started crying before she could actually get it open. To anybody reading this, here’s an important lesson. Even though my box didn’t look like a ring box, don’t attempt to fake a girl out by putting earrings in anything that *remotely* is shaped like it could hold a ring. That’s just not cool. She may jump to conclusions and shout out yes, and then you’ll feel like a rag-a-muffin because you don’t have a ring in there.

As our relationship continued to blossom and I was pretty sure I wanted to marry Colleen, I started to rationally think out what I needed to do in order to propose to her. Since most girls dream about the day their Prince Charming proposes to them by handing them a ring from one knee, I figured I probably needed to get a ring. Yes, Matt, that would make a good start. However, since I didn’t have one and this seemed a pretty vital part of the process, I then moved out of my comfort level of not even thinking about a ring to an elevated state of awareness of buying her a diamond and what it would take to get me there.

Stage Two – Start Saving and Research

This was the honeymoon stage where I thought purchasing a diamond would still be a rather easy process (and cost less than $800). I guess it can be, however I’m picky about what I spend my money on and I only wanted to spend my money on something that was of very high quality. I do the same when I purchase my outdoor gear. If whatever I’m buying couldn’t save my life in a snowstorm on top of a mountain than I don’t want it. However, now that we are talking about diamond rings, (which serve very little practical purpose in the real world I might add), I imagined myself in the aforementioned blizzard scene that was being played out in my head I realized the only purpose a diamond ring would serve would be that it would freeze around my finger cutting off the circulation only requiring it to be amputated when I return home from the mountain. This wasn’t a good image. I went home and do what I do best. Research on the internet.

I briefly found out about the 4 C’s and kind of did a few searches online to look for a 1 carat D color, internally flawless diamond. The number that came back at me was higher than my YEARLY salary. I remember letting out a gasp. Immediately, I wrote off looking up diamonds on the internet and decided that I just had to go into a store and find out if diamonds really are that expensive. However, I had a small problem. I was always hanging out with Colleen as we spend a lot of our free time together after work. I definitely couldn’t look at diamonds with her could I? Well, normally I couldn’t, unless I was sneaky about it. One thing that still remained a mystery was her ring size. I didn’t know what size of ring to get her and I think the hardest thing when thinking about getting an engagement ring is finding out the ring-size of your soon-to-be fiancee without blowing the cover that you “might” be proposing or at least getting some ideas. Colleen was in a sorority in college and while I’m sure I could have asked her friends what size of ring she wore I didn’t want the whole world to know I was up to something. They are all sorority sisters with secret handshakes that would make the New York Yankees hand signals seem predictable, so I opted to take the direct route. Take Colleen to the jewelry store and get her to find it out. Meanwhile, I could find out how expensive engagement rings really are.

Upon arrival to the jewelry store, I had Colleen start by looking at earrings, and when a lady came over to assist us, I asked her what she recommended. She pointed out a pair that she said would be nice. Then, attempting to be the Rico Suave that I’m not, I asked the sales assistant if she liked those earrings what ring would go well with them. Bam. That was the question. I winked at her while I said it and I think she caught my drift and took us over to the engagement rings. This was a huge benefit because not only would I find out how expensive rings were and what size Colleen wore, I could also use this as a litmus test to find out how much Colleen knew about diamonds. I soon found out that she didn’t know much. However, neither did I. I just asked if she could try on a ring. Fortunately, it didn’t fit, so I then asked if we could find out her size. Boom. There it was. The hardest piece of the engagement ring was solved. I had her ring-size and we were out of there.

I went on the down-low for a while, because suspicions were up from Colleen (and rightfully so). Meanwhile, I continued to harvest money for this precious ring. A few months passed and I had done nothing except save money. No mention of diamonds or rings. It’s interesting to point out that I have never saved money for anything in my life like I was doing right now. I don’t own a credit card, and I don’t exactly have good credit, so those methods of purchasing were out of the question. I had to pay cash. And I had to pay it all up-front. No financing. Which brings me to a really great point.

I don’t believe in financing your engagement ring. Giving your girlfriend (and soon-to-be wife) an engagement ring that you haven’t even paid for is hasty and ridiculous. Not to mention immature. Why? Well think about this. What if one month after you gave her this J-Lo sized ring that was way out of your budget, (but the store convinced you that you could eventually pay it off with the 12-month financing that they offer), you lost your job? That ring that you *gave* your girlfriend will have to be defaulted back to the store if you can no longer make payments on it. And then what are you going to do? Ask her to pay for her own ring? Pathetic! No Prince Charming would do this. And another thing…what ever happened to a guy proving his worth for a girl by saving up his money and buying the diamond ring for her so that when he gives it to her, not only is the ring actually that — a gift — (since he does own it, by paying it off in full first), he shows her how hard he worked (and how long) and how much he loves her by thinking of her and not spending his money on himself, but instead the girl of his dreams. That’s what a girl wants. Five months down the road she doesn’t want to hear you moan at how you still have to make payments on your ring that you bought her. Or worse, hear from her friends that you were complaining to them how much a burden it is for you to pay for a “stupid ring”. If buying her a ring was that painful, you shouldn’t have done it in the first place! I don’t know, maybe I’m being a little rash, but if I were a girl, and a guy proposed to me and the diamond was completely paid off but a little smaller, that would mean the world to me as opposed to a bigger ring that wasn’t really going to be mine for another 12 months and only if it got paid off somehow. Besides, when a guy takes the time to save up his money, he really has the time (and the motivation) to determine whether or not marrying his girlfriend is what he really wants to do. Any Joe Blow with credit can drink a few beers and decide that he wants to get married on a whim, drive down to Tiffany’s, put down some plastic, walk out with a diamond ring and propose that night to a girl that happens to be his girlfriend at the time. Just look at Britney Spears wedding. What a mistake that turned out to be by rushing into things. It lasted a day!

My point is, don’t buy something as priceless as an engagement ring on credit. Even putting it on a credit card is bad. Just imagine the scenario when for whatever reason you can’t make your monthly payments and the credit card company looks back to the purchases that you have made with their card in the last 12 months and they come collecting for collateral because you defaulted on your payments? Which they have a right to do. I’m so sure you’re going to tell your fiancee that she has to take off her ring so you can give it to the collection agent. Yeah, you may buy your fiancee another ring to replace it down the line, but it wasn’t *the* ring that you proposed to her with. Having and wearing *the ring* for life means a lot more than you might think at first. However, don’t think this means I think you should pay cash for your diamond. I’m against this too. Why? Because there is no trace of your money should you find out later that what you really bought wasn’t a diamond. If you lose that receipt, you have absolutely no way of getting your money back. Period. Therefore, I recommend purchasing a diamond by one of these three methods: check, bank debit card, or bank wire transfer. With these three ways you are protected against fraud and don’t have to worry about your ring ever being taken away from you because you paid for it up front thus proving your worth and have record of the payment.

Anyhow, changing subjects and getting down off my soapbox, next thing I knew, the holidays were upon us and I took Colleen home to Oklahoma to meet my family which went really well. My entire family liked her and Colleen and I got along during the 12 hour drive back and forth across Kansas, which is saying more than some people can do. Regardless, something of equal importance was approaching. We were nearing our one year anniversary of dating in a few months and that only meant one thing. We are now entering Defcon Diamond Purchasing Level 3.

Stage Three – Buying the Diamond

At this level, you had best start saving if you haven’t already, because if you’re like me and just don’t have loads of money, then you need a plan to reach your target goal. And it takes a while. It does little use to find a diamond you like only to have no money to purchase it with. Somebody else may come along and buy it while you are kicking youself in the butt for not starting saving earlier and having the money. Typically, you are “supposed” to spend two months salary. Well, I think that’s a bunch of bunk. The most important thing when purchasing a diamond ring is that you guys love each other. It’s not about the ring, it’s about the relationship. Just as it’s not about the actual wedding, but the marriage that follows.

The internet is your friend. However, so are brick and mortar stores. I’ll save you some time and let you in on some advice. If you are looking for the best deal, you are going to get that on the internet. If you want the biggest selection of loose diamonds, again, you’re going to find that on the internet. Search internet sites like BlueNile.com or Mondera.com as they are diamond distributors. If you want to search for only super-high quality diamonds then go to GoodOldGold.com or DiamondIdeals.com. Both of those two sites I highly recommend because they both have *very* personable staff and if you live in the New York area I don’t know why you aren’t dealing with them already. If you want to physically look at your diamond before you buy it, go to a local store. Or what I refer to as a brick and mortar store. However, GoodOldGold or DiamondIdeals will send you pictures of your diamond before you buy it, and if you don’t like the diamond, you have 30 days to send it back. If you order from either of those two jewelers, I don’t know how you *wouldn’t* like it. But if for whatever reason, you decide you want to go into a jewelry shop, watch out for the ones in the mall. You are going to pay a lot more for something of less quality. Why? Because they have the advantage. Have you ever noticed why they only put one example of each size of ring out? And only one diamond for each carat size? If you’re contemplating one of their products the catch is that they say they don’t have any others. It’s either that exact ring that you’re looking at or no ring. If you go to a more respectable jeweler they will at least order something for you if you know what you want, but then again if you know that why aren’t you buying off the net where you can find the cheapest price for the exact same ring? Another thing to watch out for is how jewelry stores downplay the necessity of a certification. If it doesn’t have a certification by GIA or AGS don’t buy that diamond. Don’t let the salesperson convince you otherwise. Most importantly though, if they refuse to show you certifications, play games with you, or try to convince you that you need to spend more money than you want to, walk out.

My journey began at BlueNile.com. They have a nice interactive search tool that allows you to hunt down exactly what you want. They also allow you to view the official certificate that came with each diamond. This is invaluable. If it is a AGS cert you can see exactly where the inclusions are and what the cut percentages are. Most of the other sites I listed above as sites to check out have these two qualities though. But your local jeweler does not. Your local jewelers rarely show you certificates and will not let you compare more than a handful of diamonds at a time. One thing to be wary about with BlueNile is that just because the diamond is “Ideal” doesn’t mean it’s exactly Ideal. It’s just cut within certain percentages. Search BlueNile’s signature diamond collection for their diamonds that are the best cut. If you do this, it will give you an initial idea of what you what you can get for your money. Also, you’ll begin to learn the trade-off for size vs. quality. For instance, if size is what you want, and the only thing you want, look for a well-cut I color and SI1 clarity. If you want quality, the upper-limit is D color and IF clarity. But if you’re like me and most people, you want something in-between. That’s why these sites have searches where you can compare the different characteristics of a diamond to find exactly what you want. I narrowed my choices down to 13 diamonds at BlueNile and then printed them off using the diamond comparison tool they have. I must admit it is very handy. I now had found diamonds that had everything I wanted and now I had a prices for those exact diamonds that was in my price range and could be verified as legit by looking at the certificate. However, I wanted to see what the other sites had, but first, I wanted to see how the local diamond stores compared.

My first stop was the Shane Co. They play radio ads here in Denver that proclaim that they are “Your friend in the diamond business.” This is an out-right LIE! I must admit, they have a very attractive inside to their store and a huge selection of rings. Probably the biggest selection of rings in Denver. But rings aren’t diamonds. When purchasing a diamond ring, first you choose a diamond, then you choose a ring to go with it. Of course, you can find a ring you like, then find diamonds to put into it, but this is harder to do. Plus, I think girls have the idea that the diamond needs to be the most important part of the engagement ring, so you want to buy that first, then recalculate your budget and then get the ring. If you spend too much on a ring, you’ll spend a lifetime saving up for the diamonds to put into it.

I approach this lady (whose name I will omit) who works there and I tell her that I’m interested in purchasing an engagement ring. She tells me to look around and pick out a ring. However, this isn’t what I want to do first. I want the diamond first, then the ring, so I tell her that I’m interested in looking at her loose diamonds. She then asks me what I’m looking for. I respond by saying I’m looking for something between 3/8 and 1/2 a carat but of high quality. She goes back behind the one-way mirror where she stands around for longer than necessary so I’ll look around the shop more and maybe find something else I want. The reason I know this is because by walking in the store I could get a certain angle that revealed this to me. Anyhow, she comes out with a .60 carat diamond that is J in color and SI2 in clarity. This is way worse quality than I requested, not to mention bigger! When I said this to her, she said that nobody wants a diamond under 1 carat and how she couldn’t even believe she was bringing out a .60 carat. I looked at the diamond and it was horrible. I could see all these inclusions in it. I told her that this isn’t what I wanted and that I wanted her to bring out something that I wanted. She went back to the back and then came back out front with another diamond. This time she had a .55 carat G color VS2. While that’s a considerable improvement, it’s still not what I requested. Not to mention, it was astronomical in price. I asked if I could look at it and she said that she would look at it first. That’s when things got really bad.

She looked at the diamond through her loupe and then took her hand to her mouth while saying, “Oh my God.” My head leaned in. She then looked at the piece of paper that the Shane Co. puts the diamond’s grade on and then looked back at the diamond and said, “I can’t see any inclusions. Oh my God, this diamond is incorrectly marked.” For a split second she had me. Then she goes, “Danny, will you come over here and help me find the inclusions, because I just can’t find any. This diamond must be flawless!” Danny then came over and drew a couple very small pinpoints on a piece of paper. When I finally got a chance to look at the diamond it had not just pinpoints, but feathers and a cloud in it. I bet they can play this game with a lot of males that doesn’t know what they are doing. But not me. I then got into it with Danny why the Shane Co. does the importing, grading, certifying, appraising, and selling of the diamond. Don’t you think this is a conflict of interests? I think so. I then told Danny that I would never come back and tell all my friends how bad my experience was at the Shane Co.

I came home and got on the web. The next stop on the web was Mondera.com. They are notorious for lending out celebrities their bling-bling for award shows. They have a big inventory as well. One thing they have that BlueNile doesn’t is Hearts and Arrows Diamonds. I’ll talk more about those in the next paragraph and for now stick to talking about Mondera. I again used their search to hunt down some diamonds that I liked, however their Hearts and Arrow Diamonds don’t have certifications listed. But I was still able to find out that the Shane Co was trying to sell me a diamond that I could get for half the price on the ineternet. So now I was interested in Hearts and Arrow Diamonds so I called Cindy at their help support number to ask if she could email me the certification of it. Four days later I got this terrible scan that is hardly legible of a diamond that by that time didn’t even remember what it was or how expensive it was. I had to go back to the site and check. When I sent her an email asking if she could send me five more certifications for five different diamonds I got no response. In the end, even though they have slightly cheaper prices than BlueNile, their customer service stinks. Also, they don’t list AGS certs with their recommended Hearts and Arrow Diamonds. AGS gives you cut percentages which are VITAL for determining the quality of the cut. GIA certs don’t list this information. BlueNile allows you to view AGS certifications with their signature collection, so in the meantime, they have my business and Mondera is out.

Now that I had a good idea of what’s out there, I took the time to read various sites takes on the 4 C’s and one thing became certain that I previously didn’t know. Cut has everything to do with how much light is reflected off the diamond. So the most important C then really is Cut. I initially thought it was Color. After discovering this, I had to go back and search BlueNile.com for a more lenient colored diamond in exchange for a better cut. And it didn’t take long for me to realize the best cut diamonds aren’t Round Brilliant Ideal Cuts. They are AGS-000 or AGS Triple Ideal cuts. These are diamonds that are cut to the ideal proportions, have ideal polish and have ideal symmetry. I now didn’t want anything less. Curiously though, after visiting Mondera.com I discovered Hearts and Arrow Cut round brilliant diamonds, so I wanted to find out more about this type of cut in a diamond. I did some searching on the web and found out that these diamonds take a heck of a lot longer to cut than a normal round brilliant diamond, plus they reflect more light and so that’s why they are more expensive. Also, when you look at a Hearts and Arrow diamond through a special viewer, you can see little hearts on the pavilion side and little arrows on the crown side. I now wanted nothing less than a Hearts and Arrows cut diamond. Less than 0.1% of diamonds in the market today have a true Hearts and Arrow cut. They are extremely rare, and here is why.

HEART PATTERN CHECK POINTS

The hearts shapes are checked for flaws, in the pavilion-up position.

1. The degree to which the hearts are broken
2. The size of the hearts
3. Shape and balance
4. Bottom and shoulder
5. The V-marks and the gaps between the hearts and v-marks
6. Missing or obscure marks
7. There must be total uniformity and balance.

ARROW PATTERN CHECK POINTS

The arrow shapes are checked for flaws in the face-up position.

1. Each arrow must be clearly visible. Even if only one arrow is not clearly visible, this is not acceptable.
2. The length and width of the 8 arrows are checked
3. The arrows have to be straight and in the right positions
4. Differences in the level at the edge of the table are noted, as are crooked arrows and points that do not meet at the girdle.
5. The culet must not be visible from the bezel facets
6. There must be total uniformity and balance.

NO HEARTS AND ARROWS STAMP IS ISSUED IF:

1. The H and A marks are flawed
2. The H and A marks are disturbed by the presence of inclusions, naturals, extra facets, unpolished facets, light from other reflections etc.
3. The general impression of the marks is not acceptable due to other reasons.
4. The cut grade is not “excellent” or “very good”.

After searching the web for Hearts and Arrow cut diamonds, I found two forums that came up quite often when doing searches on google.com for diamond questions. They are diamondtalk.com and pricescope.com. Both these sites have a tremendous amount of information on them and aided me into finding the next to places I visited on the web: GoodOldGold.com and DiamondIdeals.com.

GoodOldGold has the most honest and funniest 4 C’s tutorial that anybody could ask for. Jonathan tells it like it is. I recommend every man read his tutorial before buying a diamond. And he does jewelry the way it’s supposed to be done. He takes the mystery out of buying a ring. He posts pictures of diamonds on his website so you can actually not only see the certificate of the diamond your interested in, but also the magnification of it so you can visibly see the inclusions. What a guy! As if that isn’t enough he puts all his computer test results online so you can see how much white light your diamond of interest actually reflects and how much color light your diamond actually radiates and all the measurements of everything and wow, it was just amazing. If you buy a diamond from him you won’t be dissatisfied. However all his diamonds were bigger than I could afford so I had to turn elsewhere. I decided it was time to go check out Jared’s as that’s where Colleen says all the guys at where she works buys diamonds and recommends.

The customer service at Jared’s was a direct turnaround of what I experienced at Shane Co. As soon as I entered I was offered my choice of cappuccino or hot chocolate. I went with the cappuccino and got down to business. I told Mary Jo that I was looking for a 3/8 to 1/2 carat diamond of high quality, at least a colorless F-VS1. She tilted her head and then asked me where I learned these “technical” terms. I told her that I learned them on the internet. So we skipped all the normal crap that I’m sure she tells everybody when they walk in, and she directed me immediately over to the Leo Diamond. The Leo Diamond is Jared’s best cut diamond. She showed me a Leo Diamond that was .50 carat’s and extremely well cut. (It’s amazing how when you give a jeweler a range, they always go for the biggest and most expensive.) The quality of the Leo Diamond was a G-SI1. Not bad, but not exactly in the Queen’s Crown Jewels either. I could see the inclusions with the loupe and then when she told me the price I laughed and then told her that that was a ridiculous price. It felt so good to be able to do this because I had taken the time to do my research online first and know that they were ripping me off. She then asked me to show her online where I could get a better deal. Granted, nobody else had a diamond that was called a “Leo” Diamond, but a Leo Diamond isn’t even AGS-000. Not to mention a Hearts and Arrow cut. Every site I went to had better diamonds for half the price. She then told me that I was one of the few who knew about diamonds, and for this compliment I told her that she was extremely nice to me, but just couldn’t get me the best deal I could get, so I was taking my business elsewhere.

What an amazing turn of events. However, now knowing the internet was the way to go, and I couldn’t buy from Jonathan at GoodOldGold because he had nothing in the price range I was looking for, I searched for the most recommended site of high quality diamonds and had the highest quality of customer service. That lead me to Linda at DiamondIdeals.com. She has quite the collection of only super-ideal quality diamonds and again that handy search tool that will allow you to fine-tune your searching. By this point I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted. I wanted an F in color because I want Colleen to be able to say it’s colorless and I wanted a VVS2 or higher clarity with an AGS-000 Triple Ideal Hearts and Arrow cut. That’s pretty high quality. But Linda had it and more. As soon as I did my first search I landed right on the diamond I wanted. This feeling came over me that ‘this was the one’. I clicked on it and it had a link to the certification and so I checked that out. After checking it, it had absolutely no inclusions on the crown side! That meant the top was flawless! I then went back to pricescope.com and used their cut adviser. Their cut adviser allows you to input the exact dimensions of your rock and it will then give you the Holloway Cut index number that allows you to see how close the cut is to super-ideal. When I entered my diamond in, it came up with a 1.0 with excellent in all categories. The highest I had seen! (Try entering your diamond in this form and see what YOU get.) This was definitely the diamond I wanted. The only thing I wish I could do was take all the information Jonathan does for his diamonds and have it be done on my diamond. That’s when I sent an email to Linda. But first, here is the certification with the cut angles and inclusions marked on it. (Click on the picture to zoom in and just try and find the red dots!)

If you looked at that certificate and didn’t know what any of it means, please continue reading this article and by the end you can see the diamond that this certification represents. Anyhow, DiamondIdeals.com said right underneath the view certificate link that they would send pictures upon request. I sent an email to Linda mentioning that I’m interested in this diamond but I would like to see pictures. I almost thought that I wouldn’t hear back from her after what had happened with Mondera. The next day I checked my email only to find an email from Linda with six pictures attached! Unreal! She gave me a close up picture of the diamond, what the diamond looked like under a BrilliantScope, then what the diamond looked like in a Hearts and Arrow viewer, then what the diamond looked like under an IdealScope, then a picture of the inscription on the diamond that matched the certification that she sent me. WOW!! She did the work of Jonathan, on the diamond I wanted. But she didn’t stop there! She went over what the results of all the pictures meant and I was blown away by how friendly she was. I knew then that this was it. And the amazing thing was that the price of this diamond was $511 cheaper than a non-Hearts and Arrows one (meaning worse cut, but same color, clarity and carat) at BlueNile! And here I thought BlueNile was a good deal because they were $997 cheaper than Jared’s for an even worse cut! That’s a whopping $1,508 that I saved by buying from DiamondIdeals.com. Not to mention, I now have all sorts of awesome photos of my diamond that I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere else! This was fantastic! Here are the pictures Linda sent me. Look at how perfect the Hearts and Arrows cut is, and be sure and look at how little light (white) is shown on the Idealscope picture (the last one).

To make things more perfect, by now I had saved up enough money to buy the diamond I wanted. Before DiamondIdeals, I would have had to do some more saving, but since I had found the diamond I wanted for so much cheaper than anywhere else, I didn’t have to wait any longer! I took a deep breath then hit submit on her website and officially took the plunge and bought the diamond! Linda emailed me expressing how happy she was for me and how much I and Colleen would like the diamond! All diamonds from her website come with free overnight shipping and, unlike Jared’s, are tax-free which saves hundreds, so now the biggest problem would be for me to be home for the most important UPS delivery of my life!

I looked at the jobs I had to do the following day (since it was overnight delivery), and I had three appointments, one at 9am, one at 11am and one at 2pm. Crap! I wouldn’t be home and that wasn’t a good thing. What I feared the most was UPS leaving the diamond on my doorstep. If they tried to deliver it and then had to try again the next day that would be ok I thought, but still not ideal. My roommates work or go to school so they weren’t going to be home during the day, so there was only one option. Fix computers like I have never fixed computers before! Something about having your engagement diamond being delivered sometime that day was motivation. I finished both morning jobs by 11am. I then came home. No note from UPS yet. I checked around the house to see if it got delivered and one of my roommates happened to be home. No dice. I then made myself some oatmeal, and was eating it reading Time magazine when I heard the doorbell. It had arrived. I answered the door, signed for it and slowly walked back to the dining room table. The time was 12:11pm MST. I opened the box. Then I pulled out all the bubble tape, then, I unwrapped another envelope, and inside it was more than I imagined.

There was an envelope with my name on it. I opened it first. Inside there was a lovely note from Linda. It was very nice. Also inside was an invoice for the whole thing. I then moved my attention to the certification. The AGS cert she sent me was the original that was in a book and had the hologram on it. It was exactly like the one she had scanned online. Perfect. An AGS cert costs $200 to replace, and she sent me the original on the first mailing! I then opened up the Hearts and Arrow viewer box. I had bought a Hearts and Arrow viewer so I could view for myself what everybody else could see with their expensive instruments. Now all the boxes had been opened save one. I slowly lifted off the lid and peeled back the wrapping. Inside was a wonderful mahogany box. I was speechless. I knew what had to be waiting inside. I then took my last breath and opened it up. What radiated inside made me cry in amazement. The diamond was gorgeous. I had done well. It was exactly what I wanted. I then pulled it out and played with it, looking at it’s brilliance and then under the Hearts and Arrow viewer I got. Wow, you *could* actually see Hearts and Arrows on a diamond. Again, I was speechless. I hopped back on the computer and I emailed Linda to thank her for everything. This is what I said…

“Linda, I just received the diamond that I purchased from you, and I must say that is of the highest caliber of quality that I have ever seen. It radiates magnificent laser beams of light that contain every color imaginable. I didn’t know the spectrum could so well be represented! My icy-white diamond is breathtaking. It was so beautiful MY eyes started to tear up, so I can’t imagine what my soon-to-be fiancee’s will do! I cannot say enough about how professional you have been from the very beginning while being extremely friendly with a guy that has a limited budget. I felt like I got the royal treatment. You have my business for life. Take care, and thanks again for everything, keep up the fantastic work because there are very few people like you out there, especially in the diamond business.”

She emailed me back expressing her appreciation for my words and wished me luck with the proposal. What a lady. I would never buy a diamond from anybody else. She is the real deal. But this still left me with one tiny little problem. I now had the diamond, but no ring.

Stage Four – Buying the Ring

For the next two days, I couldn’t stop playing with my diamond. I would open up the box, look at it, then close it only to go and hide it back in my room again. This is the process that I would repeat three or four times a day. Immediately, I found out how easily fingerprints dull a diamonds brilliance. I realized that I needed to clean it and be more careful. True to form, I researched how to clean a diamond online, plus ways that I could test to make sure my diamond was real. My diamond turned out real, and I gave it a bath in some warm water and mild soap to clean it. The only way for me to stop playing with it would be to get it set in a ring where I couldn’t play with it, and thus decrease my chances of losing it. This would be a good thing.

Since I fix computers for a living, and charge a pretty penny working with Geeks on Call, I have been blessed by being able to ask the upper-middle class where they go for jewelry. One name came up more than any others and his name was Peter Rosen of Boulder. He designs custom jewelry in his little shop on Pearl Street. It was time for me to go pay him a visit.

When I told him and his wife my budget and what I’m looking for, they said that the cheapest ring they have is around $1,500. Whoa! Ok, they are a little out of my league. I then asked them how much they could order me what I wanted and they told me $555. Again, this was more than my research online told me it should be. It should be noted however, that this price did not include any fixing, tightening, re-setting, or re-sizing my ring or any of it’s prongs. Besides, isn’t that the reason you go to a jeweler? What a rip-off!

My next stop was a couple other shops along Pearl Street. All I was looking for was a simple 3/8-inch Stuller Tiffany Solitaire 950 Platinum six-prong setting in a 9 1/2 sized ring. No store had it and they all gave me prices ranging from $555 to $600. Maybe Peter Rosen wasn’t such a bad price after all? However, I didn’t want to order my setting off the internet because then I coudln’t have it fixed every six-months for free. Which is what I want. Most jewelers make you buy the setting from them if they are going to fix it for life (which I understand). Then I remembered how Jared’s had a lifetime policy regarding all the repairs that a setting could ever need for like $50. So I saddled up the Geek Mobile and drove back there to check them out again.

This time a girl named Cherie helped me out and when I told her what I wanted she took me over to her Platinum Tiffany rings. Not one of them had six prongs. It quickly went downhill after that. When I asked who made them, she didn’t know. When I asked what percentage Platinum the ring was, she didn’t know. What the heck? I told her that I found it kind of frightening that somebody as big as Jared’s would sell a Platinum ring and not even be able to say who it is made by or how much actual Platinum is in the ring they are claiming to be Platinum. Don’t you think?

The reason I wanted Platinum more than White Gold or Gold was because Platinum is more rare on Earth and therefore more expensive. Also, it doesn’t corrode like Gold when exposed to chlorine. This is important as Colleen is a high-school swim coach. Besides, why not get her something that can last a lifetime instead of something that needs serious repairs after five years?

Cherie came back and informed me that the rings they sell at Jared’s were made by nobody specific and were probably 900 Platinum. What a bunch of junk! And to think they wanted $450 for the ring, $45 to set my diamond into it, and $180 to size and add a six-prong setting to it, (not to mention the $55 lifetime warranty on it). The total: $730. I looked at Cherie and told her that Jared’s not only rips people off on their diamonds but they offer rings that are hardly what people think they are buying! She then asked me what I meant. I repeated it for her very slowly, then I said, hey, look, I like Jared’s lifetime warranty for $55. In fact, your $45 setting fee wasn’t that bad of a price either. However, your stores price on the ring you offered me was terrible at best, and the $180 for a six-prong head and sizing had to go. Cherie had no response and didn’t know what to say, so I had to get more direct. I told Cherie that I could order a 3/8-inch Stuller Tiffany Solitaire 950 Platinum six-prong setting in a 9 1/2 sized ring from Peter Rosen in Boulder for $555. If she could beat that then she would have my business. She then excused herself from the table and as she was returning, I noticed that the manager of Jared’s came back with her.

The manager of Jared’s proved she had at least some managing skills because she adhered the first rule of owning a business — The customer is always right (plus she let me do all the talking). When I was done with my rant, she then told me that she would go make a phone call to corporate expressing my concerns and call Stuller directly and ask how much they could get the ring I’m looking for. That way I would know who it was from, how much Platinum was really in the ring, and the bonus would be that it would come with a six-prong setting so I wouldn’t have to worry about paying $180 for that to be installed.

When the manager returned she was happy to tell me that she could order the ring directly from Stuller and have it delivered overnight to her store and it would be ready for me to look at first thing Monday morning. The only problem was the biggest ring-size Stuller carried was a 9. I needed a 9 1/2. She said that the ring would cost $418, and that the setting would be $45 and that she would waive the resizing fee and then I could purchase the $55 lifetime policy that would re-size, re-set, re-polish, and fix anything that had to do with my ring for free and for life. The manager of Jared’s grand total: $555 with tax included, ring in my hand the next day. Perfect, they now have my business. And I now have my ring.

On Monday, I went in first thing in the morning and looked at the ring we ordered from Stuller. It was perfect. Exactly what I wanted. I then had to cut the umbilical cord from my diamond and hand it to them for testing. It’s interesting to note that before they would set the diamond they had to test to make sure it was a real diamond. Very briefly my pulse skyrocketed as I wondered one last time if it could be a fake. The results were in after Cherie tested it and it came back true. Beautiful. I was now back in business. However, before I took the plunge and bought the Platinum engagement ring I had one last request. My last request was that they go over the inscription on the diamond with me before I hand it to them to be set and then go over it when I get it back. Cherie said that wouldn’t be a problem, so she made a note to the setter that the gemscribe be set between the prongs so that it could be visible at all times under high-magnification. Isn’t it amazing how hard somebody will work for you once you get the manager involved?

My ring was ready at 3:30p that day, and after inspecting the diamond myself, the journey was starting to find it’s end. I now had the diamond and the ring, all that was left to do was propose to the girl of my dreams. This was going to take some planning.

Final Stage – Proposing

It saddens me whenever a girl gets proposed to and it’s not a surprise. What is that all about? I believe that the marriage proposal is more exciting than the wedding itself. The wedding, you see, is planned far, far in advance, and so therefore it’s kind of a mere formality. The act of proposing though, is full of the drama, suspense and surprise that makes a good story to tell friends and family — if done right. Of course this would be the kind of proposal I was going to do.

My first thought was to propose on the summit of Mt. Princeton (a 14,197ft mountain), the same 14er that Colleen and I tried to climb last March but only made it halfway up due to the below zero temperatures. The problem with this plan is that there are so many things that could go wrong. The weather could turn bad, one of us could become injured, plus I had a much higher chance of losing the ring in all the snow. Not to mention, what happens if we don’t make it to the top? Who proposes on the side of a mountain? Not me. Plus, I know a handful of other people who have proposed on the top of a 14er here in Colorado and I wanted to be different. So it was back to the drawing board.

The thought that followed was different, but it ended up getting too complicated, so I had to scratch it off the list as well. You see, I had fixed a computer that belonged to the owner of a horse-riding school. She said that if I ever wanted to go on a horseback ride that she would be more than happy to take me for free. The idea was that Colleen and I would then go horseback riding in the mountains and at some point we would all come to a stop. At that point, the owner would ask me to go backwards down the trail for a moment to go in search of something she “dropped”. This is where I would then change into my knight armor that I rented from a costume shop the day before. Donning my new knight armor, I would then ride my trusty horse back up the trail where I would intersect with Colleen and the other owner and then dismount my horse and as the knight in shining armor propose to my princess. The fact of the matter was, while this was a good idea, it’s winter in Colorado and there is too much snow on the ground to do this in the mountains. *sigh* I needed something closer.

Finally I landed on the idea of doing a hike in the Flatirons on our anniversary of dating and do it then. What would make it so special is that exactly a year ago is when Colleen and I first hiked the First Flatiron and got to know one another. Also, it would be our 10-month dating anniversary to the exact day. The only trouble was picking a route out that I knew we wouldn’t run into the weather problems of the first 14er proposal idea, but still had the effect. I decided upon the trail that led to the Royal Arch. The Royal Arch is a natural sandstone rock arch or bridge that has formed in the Flatirons, near Boulder. The amazing this is that the city of Boulder acts as it’s backdrop when you get to it and the whole hike was about 3 miles and only gained 1,500ft of elevation from start to finish. We could do this easily on the Sunday afternoon that I was already planning on doing it, since it was our anniversary that day.

The anniversary of our dating had arrived and after church I knew this was it. There was no turning back. Upon arriving back at my house, I put the ring box into my Camelback and set out to the trailhead. How many people have ever lugged an engagement ring in their Camelback!? Anyhow, I looked at Colleen, and to my surprise I noticed she was wearing the very same sweatshirt that she wore when I first kissed her. It was a sign. Everything was a green light.

The hike starts out easily on following a closed off dirt road up into Chautauqua meadows. Once we started up the Royal Arch trail itself, things got a little messy…literally. There was a lot of ice that covered the trail, and needless to say it was extremely slick. Both of us were on all fours crawling up the trail. I was praying in the back of my mind that Colleen wouldn’t want to turn back around. Thankfully we made it past the worst ice part, only to find 11 switchbacks ahead of us. After making it up six of them, we took a break. Colleen wanted to rest for a while, however, while we were resting, I heard voices of people following us up the trail. This was no good! I wanted to get to the top alone with Colleen, so that I could propose to her under the arch with nobody else around. I asked her if she heard people coming up the trail, and she acknowledged that she did, and I gently recommended that we get hiking then. She didn’t understand, but regardless, got up and started following me up the trail.

When we reached the top of the switchbacks, there is a big, steep descent down, then the final (and longer) push to the Royal Arch itself. I was growing impatient because I knew I had the ring in my Camelback, and I was so excited to surprise her that I was practically running up the hill. Colleen didn’t seem in such a big hurry. Eventually though, we made it to the top, and we were alone. I was ecstatic. I then looked over at Colleen and she had already plopped down on a giant boulder overlooking Boulder, exhausted. I asked her what she was doing, and she said that she was resting because she was tired and sweating and going to take a break. The tension was building and I didn’t know how much longer I could last. About 30 seconds later, I heard voices far off in the distance, but they were indeed following us up the trail and be to the top within 10 minutes. The time was ticking, and Colleen was laying down on a rock. I needed her to stand up so that I could take a knee and propose. Quickly, I thought of a way I could get her to stand up.

I asked her if I could take a picture of us with Boulder in the background. She agreed while I motioned for her to stand up. She did and I snapped the picture. As I went to put away the camera and grab the ring box I ran into a problem. By the time it took me to put away the camera, (about three seconds), Colleen had already sat back down on the boulder. Crap! This was not working and the voices on the trail were getting louder. I tried again to get her to stand.

This time, I told Colleen that I was going exploring and I wanted to know if she would come with me. She said, “No.” Hmmm…didn’t work. This wasn’t easy. However, I then thought of one way I knew that I could get her to stand up. I asked if she could kiss me before I left to go exploring. She stood up, at which point I started into my pre-engagement speech that I hadn’t really planned at all, and I knew it had to be fast because Heaven knows when she was going to sit back down on that rock and the people on the trail would arrive at the top. Here is what I said…

“Colleen, you don’t know how long I have been waiting for this moment. Here we are in the Flatirons one year after we first got to know each other. You’re so beautiful Colleen, and I love you tremendously, and it’s our 10-month anniversary of dating, and look at you, you’re even wearing the same sweatshirt that you had on when we first kissed. (pause) I have something for you. (I then grabbed her hand and got down on one knee. I pulled the ring box out of my Camelback and presented it to her). Colleen Suzanne Rickard will you marry me?”

By this point Colleen was crying and her hand was to her lips and she mustered out a yes. I then took the ring out of the ring-box and slid it on her finger. It fit perfectly. It was such a heartwarming moment. I stood up and kissed her for a long time through many tears. I then finished it off by reminding her that if she lost the ring I’d be sad, but if I lost her I’d be heartbroken.

I believe she said, “Oh my God” about three hundred times in the next two minutes. She was totally surprised and it was a good feeling. Everything worked out perfectly. About three minutes later the couple who I had heard coming up the trail arrived at the top. We asked them to take our picture. Here it is.

On our way down the trail, we passed a guy and a girl in their late 20′s. The girl asked us how our day was going, and before I could say anything Colleen shouted out, “It’s going great, YOU WANNA KNOW WHY!?” Something gave it away to the girl the fact that I just proposed to Colleen. Maybe it was the new shiny ring that was shooting laser beams off her ring finger, because the girl responded, “Did you just get engaged???” Then, the unknown female hiker started crying and shouted out for her boyfriend to come back down the trail. We started laughing and crying, and then she said to us, “Oh my God, I don’t even know you but I want to give you a hug.” She gave us a hug and then shouted to her boyfriend what just happened.

If I was on Cloud 9 on the way up, Colleen was floating down the trail on the way back. She kept sliding down the icy parts on her backside, and not caring if she tripped over rocks. She couldn’t take her eyes off the ring and she couldn’t stop kissing me. Neither of us could really believe what just happened. After telling everybody we passed on the trail what happened, we took one last photo of us to remember the moment and then got back in the car and headed back to my house in Boulder. Not ten minutes after we arrived did it start snowing. Before we knew it, there was already 6 inches of snow on the ground and it would take us nearly and hour to drive 9 miles to Broomfield, where Colleen’s parents live to tell them the news.

Before we left my house though, I called my Mom and got up the guts to tell her what happened. She was thrilled. So were we. It all went so well and it was now time to move on to the next stage…planning the wedding. But that will be a different article, as the story of Toid proposing to Colleen is over and done. I hope you enjoyed it.

P.S. – If you want to see a picture of the ring, you’re just going to have to come to the wedding. It’s August 21, 2004 in Westminster, CO. It got appraised over twice what I paid for it. *smile*

Toid Get’s Engaged!

I’ve held off long enough from announcing the secret that was coming to Toid.net, so here it is: Colleen and I got engaged January 25th, 2004!!! Our wedding will be August 21, 2004 at Westminster Church of the Nazarene, in Westminster, CO. The reason for the delay announcing our engagement was because we wanted to let our parents know first, then, let our pastor know and reserve the church, thus securing a wedding date, and then we wanted to tell our friends. So here the announcement is! I will be sending out emails and calling people individually in the near future, however, if you want to call me or send me an email, feel free to do so! Things are crazy, but things are good. Colleen and I are both extremely excited! I’ll keep you up-to-date on my website here so check back every so often. Thanks!